Love, empathy, sacrifice, forgiveness are the stanchions on which a relationship can survive the darkest patches in life. A relationship needs an equal effort from both the partners. Like the decision of br-eaking up doesn’t happen overnight; the decision of marrying cannot be taken in a single day. Therefore it is necessary to recognize the red flags before getting into a matrimony.
A major issue with a lot of couples is that they see the red flags but are unable to identify them or understand how to deal with it, or completely ignore it until it is too late for them.
Below are a few red flags one must never ignore before deciding to get married:
1. The Relationship Rules Mean Nothing To Him:
He likes to play wild, and it is not a good sign. You tell to not do something and he does exactly the same. Not only is that disrespecting you but it is completely disregarding the relationship rules. Every relationship has some ground rules that need to be followed naturally by both the partners but if he goes off the line again and again without ever paying heed to your concerns about them, he is totally not worth marrying. Absolute disrespect should never be appreciated or given a second chance.
The idea of spending your whole life with a guy who is not open-minded sounds like a nightmare. You don’t want to be with someone for the rest of your life who restraints you from doing all the normal things just because of his fear of things going wrong or his mistrust on you.
That kind of negativity can ruin your life and make you regret marrying him. It is better to dump such a man at once instead of later regretting it when he displays his narrow-mindedness and makes your life h-ell.
3. Hates Animals:
Didn’t you feel a little blasphemous even reading the phrase hates animals’? Who on earth hates animals? Nobody does; that is the answer. So if he does not like animals without any good reasons like allergies etc and makes you choose between him and your pet, always choose your pet. Not having a fondness of them is fine but literally wanting to be away from them because they are animals’ shows a great lack of empathy.
You will be living with a cr-uel human animal if you decide to marry him.
4. Promise he or she will change after marriage?
A little mistake or a sometimes forgetful mind can be excused and even a big promise, if br-oken once in a blue moon, can be forgiven too but if the frequency of promise-br-eaking increases visibly then it is time for some cleaning and washing. If he nods vigorously while making promises and easily br-eaks those only days later, it obviously means that he is making a fool out of you. That is not a good relationship to be in so reject that promise-bre-aker and find a keeper.
5. Gives You Secondary Treatment:
It gets messy when one of the two people is more into the relationship than the other one. It begins to fall apart since it is all about giving, taking, sharing and receiving, just like Joey said. So if you are the one giving your best to the relationship while he sleeps peacefully and does nothing at all, it means that you do not mean to him what he means to you. There is no point taking such an empty connection along so do not marry the guy who gives you secondary treatment when you deserve to be the first priority.
6. Doesn’t Have Moments of Epiphany:
A guy who constantly thinks that everything he does is utterly right and his decisions can never be wrong needs to have a reality check. It is, indeed, cr-uel to force someone to change for you and should not be done. But a person ought to realize his mistakes and be ready to make changes in himself accordingly for the sake of goodness. If he never experiences any moments of epiphany and never doubts anything he does, his cocksure behavior can be harmful to you as well.
7. Excessive Excuses:
Excuses are only a way of saying I am sorry but I had more important things to do and you do not matter to me as much as you think you do. If he has more excuses than reasons and they are all too senseless to be true, he is only trying to lie to you and if not, only feeling too lazy to include you in everything.
Such behavior in the guy you are about to marry can be a turn-off and should be a turn-off.
8. Finish the Conversations:
He is a great talker, it is awesome, but as soon as it comes to you telling a story or sharing something, he cuts you down like it does not matter. He is the conversation finisher. Not only do these habits show a lack of conversation skills but also show your insignificance in his opinion, how your turn does not matter and he is better off without you pitching in on something. You don’t want to be ignored like that for the rest of your life; never make the mistake of marrying such a conversation finisher.
Small lies, cute lies and insignificant lies that are told for good are excusable and even justifiable but lies that affect your relationship and are spoken again and again need to be dealt with. If not the lies then the liar needs to be confronted. Relationships are all about trust and believing in each other. If he takes that away by br-eaking the code of taking confidence in each other then he needs to be replaced. Lies da-mage a relationship slowly like termites da-mage wood.
We would all just get ourselves a child to go on a date with if we wanted someone to depend on us 24/7. When men cling to us for more than usual, it either means that they have insecurity issues or they don’t trust you with your actions.
Clingy partners are a no-no! A mature relationship requires two independent people who can bear being away from each other for some time for the sake of their busy adult lives. Clingy is not normal.
Does your partner—
- Have extreme views on family, world or religious affairs to develop?
- Encourage you to develop your talents and see you progress in life or do they want to keep you hidden from the rest of the world?
- Does your partner enjoy working or are lazy and irresponsible?
- Cr-iticize your looks? Make fun of your weight and does body shaming?
- Physically or emotionally ab-use you?
- Promise he or she will change after marriage?
- Compare you to past girlfriends or boyfriends?
- Gives you time with friends and family or gets angry at you for doing so?
- Show that the world revolves around them?
These are a few obvious red flags which you never ignore when making the decision to get married. If we feel like we cannot rely on our partner, we should never commit to such a relationship. Agreeing to marry someone requires a lot of commitment and effort. So it’s always advisable not to invest in the wrong person. Get to know each other well, plan a future ahead and most importantly never ignore the RED FLAGS!